Maybe you’re like me. When challenged to discuss your personal definition of ritual, or maybe provide some examples of it, you clam up. I mean, sure, you’ve got some. Everyone does. Some are innocuous. Some are ornate. Some are purist, published rituals handed down over decades or centures. Some are personal adaptations, customized to your own sensitivities and comforts. Some are completely private and personal. And that’s okay.
But if you’re at the early stage and haven’t “found” your ritual yet, don’t fret. It’s easy enough to “try on” a few of the rituals out there that resonate with you. Or even if they don’t. Try them on anyway. Here’s the thing. When the time is right, your own, deeply personal ritual elements will come to you. They will just show up one day, and they might be so shocking that you think to yourself, “Where did that come from? I’ve never imagined that, I don’t think about that, that’s not my thing…” But trust your gut. That element is there for a reason. Try it on. In private. In the dark. Behind a locked door. Wherever you need to try it on, try it on. And as they come to you, try combining them in different ways. Don’t worry if it’s against the grain. Don’t worry if society wouldn’t approve.* Try it on anyway. This is for you, not for them.
* Exceptions: Do nothing that will harm another. Do nothing involving another without consent. This is personal ritual we’re talking about, not a license to be a shitty person.